From the day Hayden first walked on the t-ball field, I knew he was destined for greatness. I mean, I could just tell from the way he hit that ball off the tee that he would one day be swinging that bat in the MLB.
Then, he started wrestling. I swear I could see the Olympic rings.
Then came football and I SWEAR I saw an NFL scout eyeballing him at his most recent game.
Ok, Ok... OBVIOUSLY some sarcasm there.
According to StatisticBrain.com (http://www.statisticbrain.com/youth-sports-statistics/) odds of a HIGH SCHOOL player making it to the NFL are 1 in 6,000. The odds of a HIGH SCHOOL baseball player making it to the MLB are 1 in 4,000. (Ooohhh, mental note: Better chance of playing in the MLB... better put all of our eggs in that basket!!!) These statistics do not even include the all of the children playing in youth sports who do not end up playing in high school. The NCAA has also released some staggering statistics on the percentages of high school and college athletes who will make it to participate on the professional level. (see- http://www.ncaa.org/wps/wcm/connect/public/NCAA/Resources/Research/Probability+of+Going+Pro)
Why do I bring this up? Reality check.
We live in a society where many adults expect their kids to succeed and be the best. Some parents expect their children to be on the All-Galactic team by the age of 8. Many times, we see parents who re-live their failed sports career vicariously through their children. We see children who are pigeon-holed into one sport by a young age so they can be the best at that sport. Remember when there was such thing as the three sport athlete? That is extremely rare now.
After some recent events where a parent of an opposing team was such a poor loser and felt the need to make passive aggressive comments via Facebook, I had to think about what the ultimate goal was in youth sports.
Here is what I came up with:
1. I want my children to learn the value of hard work. Learning to be a hard worker will take you a lot further in life than participation in any professional sport. The statistics speak for themselves.
2. I want my children to know that they are STUDENT/ Athletes. Again, by focusing on school and what they are learning, they will be successful in life. I would like to find the statistics of students receiving academic scholarships vs. athletic scholarships. I guarantee the amount of students receiving academic scholarships is much higher.
3. I want my children to learn how to win and lose graciously. In a game, there is usually one winner and one loser. I want my children to know it is ok to lose, but to use that energy to fuel their next win. I do not enjoy seeing people lose and they throw things around, get angry, etc. On the same note, when my children win, I want to see them do so graciously. I want them to behave with tact and sportsmanship. I want them to thank their coaches and teammates for the good game. I want to see them thank opposing team for the great competition.
4. I want my children to play for coaches who respect the rules of the game. Unfortunately, we have been in situation where we have seen other coaches who "push" the rules so their team can win. If my children lose, but do so playing by the rules, then they, and the coaching staff, are the true winners.
5. I want my children to play to the best of their ability. I want them to know that they may not have the newest $300 bat, the "fastest" shoes, the newest Under Armour, or the best pitching/ catching/ throwing/ whatever coach. But, I want them to use their God-given talents to the best of their ability and to use that talent to contribute to their respective teams.
I know there are times when I get caught up in the drama... wanting my kid to play on the travel baseball team, or the All-Star team, or the best football team, etc. Recently, I have been reminded that it isn't about that. It is about my children performing to the best of their ability. I need to let nasty, passive aggressive comments go in one ear and out the other. I need to spend more time thanking those who help build my children up, rather than focusing on those who tear them (and their coaches) down.
I need to run... I need to get Keegan to his Kiddy Quarterback training center. (I KID! I KID!!)
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Truth is...
Truth is... My kids aren't perfect. Are yours?
How often do you see a Facebook post where someone is bragging on their child? Example- "So proud of _______________ for getting straight A's on his/ her report card!" Is that wrong? Nope. Not at all. I do it too. I love to share the good things that my children are doing. But, I can't help but feel annoyed when I see that. All. The. Time.
What happens when you read such posts and start questioning your ability as a parent because your child doesn't get straight A's, or your kid didn't make the All-Star team, or your kid didn't get the lead in the school play?
What would happen if we saw more posts like this, "My son is a struggling reader. We can't figure out what is going on. We are starting testing at school" ??? Would you think any less of that parent? Would you think, "wow, I bet she didn't read to her child since he was in the womb"? Or, "I bet she didn't play Mozart to her belly like it said to in Parent's magazine."
Truth is... that is my kid. My oldest, Hayden, is a struggling reader.
I thought we did all the right things... We read to him when he was little. We got him evaluated when he was considered "speech delayed" (turns out he was probably just stubborn, no surprise here). We took him to all of his yearly well child visits. We went to the zoo and COSI We started him in an all day, every day preschool. We sent him to an all day, every day kindergarten. We continued to read with him at home. We did homework with him. We found programs on the computer for him to work on. But, by second grade we noticed that he just wasn't keeping up with his peers or with what was expected of him.
Through second grade and third grade, we worked with a Dr. to try to get his ADD/ ADHD medication figured out. After his 3rd grade Ohio Achievement Assessment (OAA) scores came back and there was a huge discrepancy between his math and reading scores, I realized that I needed to take action.
We got him a tutor. I emailed the school to set up a suspected disability conference. I wanted to get him tested to see if there was more going on than I thought.
Truth is... that was one of the hardest things I had to do.
From my experiences as a teacher and from dealing with Grayson, I knew that I needed to be his biggest advocate. Luckily, I knew (and had friends who knew) the ins and outs of testing and special education law. A lot of times I wonder if I weren't a teacher, would I be as adamant on getting him tested? Would I even know that there may be an issue? He passed both sections of the OAA, but the reading he literally passed by the skin of his teeth! Parents who don't know would probably be happy that their child passed. But when I know a scaled score of 400 is like a 50% (or something close to that), I knew it wasn't anything to be extremely thrilled about.
Truth is... I know it is not irony that I am going through this with Hayden. I know things like this make me a better and more understanding teacher. When I sit in IEP meetings, I know what it feels like when the mom on the other side of the table is crying because she doesn't know how to help her child. I know that the mom wonders if she did anything wrong to "make" her child like this.
So, no... my kids aren't perfect. But the truth is, they help me become a better mom, teacher and person. Through them, I have learned (or tried to learn) to be more patient with some of my own students. I have learned to be more compassionate when sitting in on IEP meetings where the parent is confused and feels alone, and they feel like they have the only child who struggles.
Where do we go from here? I'm not totally sure, but we have an appointment with the audiologist and ENT tomorrow to check his hearing. We are doing everything we can to help Hayden be the best student he can be. Does that mean straight A's? Probably not. But, will I still hold high expectations and hold him accountable? You betcha!
How often do you see a Facebook post where someone is bragging on their child? Example- "So proud of _______________ for getting straight A's on his/ her report card!" Is that wrong? Nope. Not at all. I do it too. I love to share the good things that my children are doing. But, I can't help but feel annoyed when I see that. All. The. Time.
What happens when you read such posts and start questioning your ability as a parent because your child doesn't get straight A's, or your kid didn't make the All-Star team, or your kid didn't get the lead in the school play?
What would happen if we saw more posts like this, "My son is a struggling reader. We can't figure out what is going on. We are starting testing at school" ??? Would you think any less of that parent? Would you think, "wow, I bet she didn't read to her child since he was in the womb"? Or, "I bet she didn't play Mozart to her belly like it said to in Parent's magazine."
Truth is... that is my kid. My oldest, Hayden, is a struggling reader.
I thought we did all the right things... We read to him when he was little. We got him evaluated when he was considered "speech delayed" (turns out he was probably just stubborn, no surprise here). We took him to all of his yearly well child visits. We went to the zoo and COSI We started him in an all day, every day preschool. We sent him to an all day, every day kindergarten. We continued to read with him at home. We did homework with him. We found programs on the computer for him to work on. But, by second grade we noticed that he just wasn't keeping up with his peers or with what was expected of him.
Through second grade and third grade, we worked with a Dr. to try to get his ADD/ ADHD medication figured out. After his 3rd grade Ohio Achievement Assessment (OAA) scores came back and there was a huge discrepancy between his math and reading scores, I realized that I needed to take action.
We got him a tutor. I emailed the school to set up a suspected disability conference. I wanted to get him tested to see if there was more going on than I thought.
Truth is... that was one of the hardest things I had to do.
From my experiences as a teacher and from dealing with Grayson, I knew that I needed to be his biggest advocate. Luckily, I knew (and had friends who knew) the ins and outs of testing and special education law. A lot of times I wonder if I weren't a teacher, would I be as adamant on getting him tested? Would I even know that there may be an issue? He passed both sections of the OAA, but the reading he literally passed by the skin of his teeth! Parents who don't know would probably be happy that their child passed. But when I know a scaled score of 400 is like a 50% (or something close to that), I knew it wasn't anything to be extremely thrilled about.
Truth is... I know it is not irony that I am going through this with Hayden. I know things like this make me a better and more understanding teacher. When I sit in IEP meetings, I know what it feels like when the mom on the other side of the table is crying because she doesn't know how to help her child. I know that the mom wonders if she did anything wrong to "make" her child like this.
So, no... my kids aren't perfect. But the truth is, they help me become a better mom, teacher and person. Through them, I have learned (or tried to learn) to be more patient with some of my own students. I have learned to be more compassionate when sitting in on IEP meetings where the parent is confused and feels alone, and they feel like they have the only child who struggles.
Where do we go from here? I'm not totally sure, but we have an appointment with the audiologist and ENT tomorrow to check his hearing. We are doing everything we can to help Hayden be the best student he can be. Does that mean straight A's? Probably not. But, will I still hold high expectations and hold him accountable? You betcha!
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