Truth is...

Truth is...  My kids aren't perfect.  Are yours?

How often do you see a Facebook post where someone is bragging on their child?  Example- "So proud of _______________ for getting straight A's on his/ her report card!"    Is that wrong?  Nope.  Not at all.  I do it too.  I love to share the good things that my children are doing.  But, I can't help but feel annoyed when I see that. All. The. Time.

What happens when you read such posts and start questioning your ability as a parent because your child doesn't get straight A's, or your kid didn't make the All-Star team, or your kid didn't get the lead in the school play?

What would happen if we saw more posts like this, "My son is a struggling reader.  We can't figure out what is going on.  We are starting testing at school" ???  Would you think any less of that parent?  Would you think, "wow, I bet she didn't read to her child since he was in the womb"?  Or, "I bet she didn't play Mozart to her belly like it said to in Parent's magazine."

Truth is... that is my kid.  My oldest, Hayden, is a struggling reader.

I thought we did all the right things... We read to him when he was little.  We got him evaluated when he was considered "speech delayed" (turns out he was probably just stubborn, no surprise here).  We took him to all of his yearly well child visits.  We went to the zoo and COSI  We started him in an all day, every day preschool.  We sent him to an all day, every day kindergarten.  We continued to read with him at home.  We did homework with him.  We found programs on the computer for him to work on.  But, by second grade we noticed that he just wasn't keeping up with his peers or with what was expected of him.

Through second grade and third grade, we worked with a Dr. to try to get his ADD/ ADHD medication figured out.  After his 3rd grade Ohio Achievement Assessment (OAA) scores came back and there was a huge discrepancy between his math and reading scores, I realized that I needed to take action.

We got him a tutor.  I emailed the school to set up a suspected disability conference.  I wanted to get him tested to see if there was more going on than I thought.

Truth is... that was one of the hardest things I had to do.

From my experiences as a teacher and from dealing with Grayson, I knew that I needed to be his biggest advocate.  Luckily, I knew (and had friends who knew) the ins and outs of testing and special education law.  A lot of times I wonder if I weren't a teacher, would I be as adamant on getting him tested?  Would I even know that there may be an issue?  He passed both sections of the OAA, but the reading he literally passed by the skin of his teeth!  Parents who don't know would probably be happy that their child passed.  But when I know a scaled score of 400 is like a 50% (or something close to that), I knew it wasn't anything to be extremely thrilled about.

Truth is... I know it is not irony that I am going through this with Hayden.  I know things like this make me a better and more understanding teacher.  When I sit in IEP meetings, I know what it feels like when the mom on the other side of the table is crying because she doesn't know how to help her child.  I know that the mom wonders if she did anything wrong to "make" her child like this.

So, no... my kids aren't perfect.  But the truth is, they help me become a better mom, teacher and person. Through them, I have learned (or tried to learn) to be more patient with some of my own students.  I have learned to be more compassionate when sitting in on IEP meetings where the parent is confused and feels alone, and they feel like they have the only child who struggles.

Where do we go from here?  I'm not totally sure, but we have an appointment with the audiologist and ENT tomorrow to check his hearing.  We are doing everything we can to help Hayden be the best student he can be.  Does that mean straight A's?  Probably not.  But, will I still hold high expectations and hold him accountable?  You betcha!