Another challenging Mom moment...

Seems like Mondays are the hardest and today was no different.  Things just didn't seem to go the way I wanted them to go.  Then, I was put in a position in which I never imagined I would find myself...  

Upon arriving home from school, I noticed Grayson's behavior chart for the day only had one sticker on it. On further review, I noticed a lot of comments like, "out of seat" "talking/ off task" and "had to return to seat due to not cooperating." Sigh...  I took one look at the handwriting and knew that it wasn't his teacher's.  I asked if he had a sub today and he informed me that he had.  Unfortunately, he doesn't do well when things are out of the norm.  Then, I heard something I never imagined I would.

Grayson- "Mommy, Big Boy (name changed... will be known as BB from here on) came over to me and told me to 'shut- up' then, he picked me up, slammed me on the floor and punched me.  He punched me in my heart."

I felt like someone punched me in my heart.

So many emotions went through my mind.  I was mad. Mad at that little boy for putting his hands on my child.  I was sad.  Sad that someone felt the need to physically hurt my child.  I was confused.  I just wanted to know everything that happened. Disappointed. Distraught. Helpless...

I wanted to get to the bottom of what happened.  I asked him interrogating questions to find out WHY this child did this.  Maybe Grayson wasn't innocent.  But, he swears he didn't put his hands on that little boy.  I know that Grayson and BB have had some problems this year.  But Grayson truly didn't know what provoked that kid to hit him.  In his perspective, he didn't do anything wrong.  (Please note I used the phrase, "in his perspective" because we all have different perspectives on things and your perspective becomes your "truth.")

As a mom, I want to do everything I can to protect my children.  I want to teach them to make good choices and do what is right.  I want them to be able to stand up for themselves, but not have to resort to physical violence.  I want them to go to school and not be fearful of their classmates/ peers.  I never want them to feel the pain of being picked on... like I did.

You see, I have struggled with my weight my entire life.  As a child, I remember kids making fun of me.  I remember sitting in my 4th grade classroom and I turned around to see boy who was sitting behind me was holding up a sign that said, "whale."  Maybe that is why I am so protective of Grayson.  Not that he is overweight (actually, he has quite the opposite problem... we can't get him to GAIN weight), but because he is "different."  He responds to situations differently.  When things are out of the normal routine, he doesn't respond like most children may.  I have a gut feeling that the other little boy may have just been getting tired of Grayson's incessant talking and movement.  Because I'll admit, there are times when it is challenging for me.    
       
Tonight as I put him to bed, I started to think about the people who lost their lives today in the Boston Marathon bombing.  Someone lost their baby today, due to a horrific act.  It helped to give me perspective.  I still have my baby here to squeeze.  I still have time to teach him how to respond to situations like today.  I still have the incessant talking, wiggling, jumping, running, playing and laughing... and I wouldn't want it any other way.